“Patience is a virtue.” “In your patience possess ye your soul.” “Good things come to those who wait.” I have heard, thought, and said these things countless times in my life. Usually in an effort to convince myself of their truth. But, the truth is, when they were giving out patience in Heaven, I couldn’t be bothered to wait in line.
Instant gratification. A plague on modern humanity. And on me. I hate waiting. I hate waiting for the light to change to green; I hate waiting for the extreme couponing penny pincher to finish arguing over the price of lettuce at the grocery store; I hate waiting for customers to decide if they want popcorn or candy as the concession line builds behind them. Mostly, I hate waiting around for the hint that will point me in the right direction.
Five years ago, I sat on my bed in my
W. Lebanon apartment that I
shared with my then-boyfriend. I was
crying my eyes out, begging God for a sign.
I didn’t need the whole journey; just the right direction. A few days later, my sign came in the form of
a postcard from a college I had once thought about attending, asking if I
wanted an application. It dawned on me:
I went to college, finally finished something I started, and am seemingly right back where I began, only deeper in debt and serving up food in a different venue. I keep on plugging away, sending resume after resume out into the interwebs, hoping that someone will take a look and say “She might be a good fit! Let’s interview her!” But, alas, nothing. I check my email more times than is healthy, hoping that I will get that fateful email asking me for an interview. I know that it takes time for the individuals at the colleges I am applying at to review all of the resumes they get; I understand that there is a review period, and that I might not hear back for weeks. But it doesn’t mean I have to be OK with it.
Five years ago, I asked and received a nudge in the right direction. So, where is my next sign? God made me; He knows I don’t do subtle. He also knows I am not a patient woman. I don’t need to know the end of the journey here; I just need the next step. Pretty please?