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Tuesday, October 30, 2012

'Til the Storm Passes By

A couple of Sundays ago, we sang one of my favourite hymns as the choir anthem.  It is called “’Til the Storm Passes By”.  Not only is the melody just great fun to sing, the lyrics are very meaningful to me.  My whole life, there has been a tornado raging in my head, winds taking thoughts and whipping them around so fast that I can’t always catch them.  Lightening and thunder drown out the good thought and provide amplification to the bad.  But every now and then, I remember the words to this hymn, and the storm calms just long enough for me to breathe, relax, and continue on my path. 

The past couple of days I have been thinking about this song as a massive “Super Storm” has been winding its way up the East Coast.  As is often the case in times like this, humour has been getting people through, while funny memes and Twitter accounts circulate our virtual lives.  It is easy for those of us a little more removed from it to laugh about the situation, but when it starts to hit closer to home, the laughter is silenced.  I myself was in denial about just how bad it would be, until last night when I saw images of my beloved New York City being downright devastated in some areas.

I was then infuriated at the current students at my alma mater bitching and moaning about having to attend their classes tomorrow.  Yes, a day off every now and then was always welcome, especially in the dead of winter when it was always preferable to hole up under the covers and order Dominos then to schlep to class.  But in this case, where the worst they got was some wind and heavy rain, it was downright petty whining.  There are people who have lost so much in just one day, who may have lost jobs and loved ones.  Who may not be able to pay for college because of the damage this storm has caused.  Count yourselves lucky that you are not one of those people.  That you were kept safe and sound, and that you are able to resume your lives and your education without issue. 

Today the storm is moving on, it will eventually be stopped and there will be calm.  In the aftermath, in the bigger, emotional storm to follow as people try to put their lives back together again, just remember.  It, too, will pass and you will once again find that calm.  Until then, may some of you find the same comfort I have found in this song

Sunday, October 7, 2012

New and Exciting

If anyone had told me a year ago that I would be living at home, working as a supervisor at a movie theatre, and dating an amazing man now, I would have given them a healthy dose of “Man, you CRAZY!”  But here I am.  Nowhere near where I thought I would wind up.  But surprisingly content.  For now.

Do I still want more?  You bet.  I have decided to apply for grad school in the field of film studies, with the ultimate intent of being a professor.  But now there’s this guy.  This guy who makes me beyond happy.  He makes me laugh, makes me feel beautiful and special, he listens when I talk and values my opinion.  He has taken the time to get to know me.  We can be absolutely ridiculously silly together, and still have a real conversation.  So far, even with the usual little bumps, this has been very easy and natural.  Even when we have told each other things we know are hard to say/hear.  I don’t live in fear that if I say one wrong thing, everything will fall apart, a problem I had with many of my past relationships.  There is no walking on eggshells here.  What he sees is what he gets, and so far (for whatever insane reason) he likes what he sees.  This is no new and foreign to me. 

The thing is, we haven’t been together all that long.  Only known each other existed for about 6 weeks.  Only been dating for about a month.  But it feels like we’ve known each other for ages.  And not in a bad way.  There was this connection that neither of us could pinpoint, and still can’t.  It’s not intense in the cinematic sense, it’s just there.  And for the first time in my relationship-having life, my relationship is the one thing that I am not worried about.  Money?  Absolutely.  My career?  Yup.  Grad School?  Uh-huh.  But my relationship?  Nope.  The only thing that is up in the air is where I go to grad school, and how that will effect us, but like the grown-ass people we are, it is an ongoing discussion and something we will deal with when the time comes.  When did I stumble into a real relationship?  The hell?

So what about the things I am worried about?  Fuck if I know.  I do know that I have made the right choice, grad school studies-wise.  Cutting ResLife out (for now) still stings, but I know that it was what I needed to do.  For the first time, I get excited about the curriculum and programs offered in the film studies programs.  This is my passion, and I am going to go after it no matter what.  My only regret is that I didn’t have that “Ah-Ha!” moment sooner!