Stagnant

I’ve been off my game and on the depressed side this past week.  Today, I finally figured out why.  For the past four years, I have spent the majority of my time in a constant state of motion.  Walking to class, the DC, etc., running into different people every day, going on rounds, frantically finishing up assignments at the last minute.  I never had a moment to breathe.  Well, I have plenty of time for that now, and I don’t like it.  I enjoyed the peace for about a week.  Now, my life is stagnant.

There is little to do, and less people to do it with here in the Upper Valley.  I mean, at least at school, I could just wander into the RA Office or the DC and find people to just sit and hang with.  For free, at that!  Here, not so much.  Unless I want to take up hiking, but that’s not going to happen.  And most of the people I used to know have moved away, the ones that are still here have lives of their own.  So, I am bored and lonely.  It kinda sucks.

Even though I always saw familiar faces at Keene, it was always a different set.  I never knew who I was going to run into any given day, and while I had certain routines down each semester, every day brought something different, some new challenge.  Here, I see the same 6 people every.damn.day, and do pretty much the same thing every day, too.  Even when I’m working different “areas” at work, I’m still glued to the lobby.  I was so psyched to usher yesterday, because at least that way I got to walk through the theatres every now and then…

I miss the college environment.  A lot.  I am still applying for ResLife jobs, and still not getting very far.  Hopefully the latest one I applied for will pan out for me.  If I seriously have to spend the next year trapped in the lobby of the movie theatre, I might just kill myself. 

I am desperately trying to stay positive, tell myself that one year is not very long, but it’s only been a month since I graduated, and it feels like so much longer.  Time has come to a screeching halt, and I am ready for it to start moving again.  So, I am praying that I get this job.  Or anything, really, that involves more.  *Sigh*.  Time to get ready for another mundane day…