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Wednesday, June 20, 2012


Good afternoon.  It is hot.  I am annoyed.  And hungry.  Sounds like a perfect time for a rant…

So.  I have had a TiVo for about 7 years now.  I love my TiVo.  I love that I can season pass everything I watch, and that I can take it all with me wherever I go.  It was perfect for when I was in college, and also now when I work a lot of nights, missing my shows.  I hate having to watch all my TV online.  However… with the new HD crap, I need what is called a CableCARD to make my TiVo work with Comcast’s system.  OK, fine. 

So, last week I went to our local Comcast office to pick up a CableCARD.  When I got home, I followed all the steps to get it set up.  But when I got home from work, I still had no channels.  Huh.  So, I called the setup people again, and went through the process again.  Nothing.  Hrm.  So, I tried going online to see what was going on.  They tried to send signal after signal.  Still, nothing.  Then the checked the account, and saw a past-due balance, which was why the card was not activating.  OK.  Fine. 

On Friday Dad paid the bill.  So, on Friday night, I tried it again.  Still nothing.  Oye.  So, I thought that maybe it was a defective card.  Monday, I went down to Comcast to swap out the card.  I got home, followed all the steps again, and still nothing.  At this point, I am pisssed off.  I then notice that I randomly get channel 112.  Ooooh kaaay?

So, I decided to get in touch with TiVo, see if maybe that was the problem.  They started taking me through the steps of restarting the set, etc.  I double checked that all of my cables were hooked up properly.  They were.  We got into checking the CA menu for the CARD, which was supposed to say “Status: Ready”.  Instead, it said “Status: Not Staged”, implying that there is an issue with Comcast.  *Sigh*.  OK.

So, yesterday, I called the main Comcast line.  After being disconnected on the first call, I got someone on call #2.  I explained what was going on, and he put me on hold.  I got transferred to someone else.  After I explained everything again, I was informed that I was talking to someone in internet accounts.  She redirected me to someone who could help me with my cable issues.  However, that guy was in New Jersey and unable to help me.  At this point, I’ve been on the phone being bounced around and put on hold for almost half an hour.  And the guy from NJ muttered “Ugh, get rid of TiVo”.  I know that is what Comcast wants me to do, but no.  I will not.

Anyway, he goes to contact me with someone who can access my account, and I got disconnected.  Again.  Really pissed off at this point, I called again.  I got a very pleasant young woman who I know I was snippy with, but my snippiness was justified at this point.  She tried to fix the problem, but nope.  Need to send out a technician.  I was really hoping to avoid this, because seriously?  All he’s gonna do is watch me put a card in a box.  But ok, fine.  I will jump through your fucking hoops and shell out the money so you can come and watch me put a card in a box.  I took the 11-1 appointment, apologized for being snippy with the girl, and went on my merry way.

Now, I had been told that the tech would call me about a half an hour before they were coming so I’d know they’d be here.  At 12:55, I went downstairs to see if a Comcast van was pulling up, since I hadn’t heard from anyone yet.  Nothing.  I went upstairs to grab the phone and start calling.  1:00 on the dot, I called.  They said that the tech had been at the house at 12:57, knocked, didn’t get an answer, and then went to the cable box out back, submitted something about a box number and left.  No note, nothing.  No phone call.  Nothing.  They weren’t even supposed to be checking on the box, we know there is nothing wrong with the cable itself, it is the fucking CableCARD, you asshole! 

So, the Comcast woman is looking through everything to make sure it was all paired up properly, and has me restart the TiVo, and is now saying it’s probably something wrong with the TiVo, not them.  I call bullshit.  We reschedule another appointment for 9:00 in the fucking morning tomorrow, Mom’s first day of summer vacation.  Because I have other plans tomorrow afternoon with Mary, and that’s the only morning appointment they have.  Of course. 

After some Google-searching, I know I am not the only one with a Comcast CableCARD pairing with TiVo issue.  I am normally not a conspiracy-theory asshole, but I am now convinced they do this on purpose.  The NJ jerk said it all “Get rid of your TiVo”.  That is what Comcast wants us to do.  But see, I’ve been a loyal TiVo customer for the better part of a decade.  I do not want your crappy Comcast box.  I want to be able to take a new job, move to wherever said job is, and not have to turn in a box with all its cables and remote and all that jazz to have to turn around and pick a new one up every time I move.  Plus, this is a brand new TiVo I purchased in February.  I can watch my Netflix and YouTube and play my Pandora on it.  Can’t do that with your crappy box, Comcast.  It is my personal choice to use TiVo as my DVR – our family is already overpaying for your mandatory HD service/converters plus your high speed internet.  I pay for the TiVo myself, and they have been nothing but wonderful to me for the past 7 years. 

So, if this cable guy doesn’t do what he is supposed to and resolve this tomorrow, I will be hella mad.  My current frame of mind is already pretty shaky, and there are few things keeping me from slitting my fucking wrists these days.  One of those things is my TV and the shows I regularly watch.  Don’t fucking take that away from me, Comcast. 

Now, if it is legitimately something wrong with the TiVo box itself, or some error on my part, I will eat my crow.  But I have a feeling tomorrow, the tech will come, re-insert the card into the box, push a few numbers into some digital toy, and I will have my channels back.  Right now, I’m getting 3, 12, 13 and 112.  What.The.Fuck, Comcast? 

I miss the days of hooking up a couple of coax cables and you’re done.  Modern technology can kiss my ass.

End of rant.  Update on the situation tomorrow.  Then it will be back to my regularly scheduled writings. 

Edit: Right now, my rage mostly comes from the fact that the tech never called to say he was on his way, obviously did not make much of an effort to see if anyone was home, and didn't do a freaking thing.  And I didn't even want to bring a tech out here in the first place.  UGH.

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