Trying a little something new. Something I’ve wanted
to do for a while. For the next few days, I will be posting the pieces I
submitted for my Writing Minor Portfolio. They are all from classes I
took Sophomore to Senior Year at Keene State College. Most of them are
memoir in nature, but a few are slightly different. These are pieces I
love, but know still need work. If you would like to know more of the
stories behind the pieces, let me know and I will be happy to share!
Also, any and all constructive feedback is always welcome – just because these
were the final versions to be submitted doesn’t mean that they are perfect.
Oh, and also? These are mine. Do not
steal them. Thanks.
Summer
Breeze Makes me Feel God.
Written for Theory and Practice: Memoir, Written Senior Year
It was one of those perfect sunny days. A gentle breeze, blue sky, big fluffy white
clouds everywhere. I was walking across
the field at Camp Sentinel Tuftonboro , NH
At this
point in my life, I was fairly secure in my faith. I felt like I was somehow lacking because my
Biblical studies left much to be desired, but being a Minister’s daughter, it
was just understood that I believe in God.
Every year at Sentinel, there was a different “Head Minister” who would
determine the focus of the week. They
all blended in with me, I couldn’t tell you any of their names or what they
looked like, except for this particular week, I recall he was a larger man with
white hair. I suspect many of the
Ministers we had were retired.
This
particular week was all about accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and
Savoir. Something I assumed I already
had done, since I went to church every week and prayed all the time. I thought maybe I had missed something, and that
once again my Christianity was up for debate because I hadn’t actually
made this claim out loud. But still, I
pushed it aside to the corner of my brain while I focused on all the cute
Christian boys the camp had to offer.
A few days
into the week, one of my cabin-mates got sick.
She was stuck in the Nurse’s cabin for at least a day. At lunch that day, our counselor asked us if
someone could bring her lunch to her. I
volunteered. It was the right thing to
do, and it made me look good. It was
also a gorgeous day, so it would mean some time out in the sun by myself.
As I crossed
the field over to the Nurse’s cabin, a slight breeze picked up and stopped me
dead in my tracks. I closed my eyes and
breathed it in. A strange feeling came
over me – absolute calm. For the first
time since I had been born, everything in my body quieted down. I opened my eyes and took everything in: the
clear blue sky, the clouds, the green trees, the giant boulder in the middle of
the field where we all met for morning activities, simply known as “the
rock”. In that instant, it came to me, I
finally got it. My faith suddenly turned
from an assumed knowledge to a real understanding. Without hesitation, without question or
doubt, my mouth opened up, and the words “I accept Jesus Christ as my personal
Lord and Savoir” flowed from within me into the breeze. It wasn’t a definitive statement; it was a
statement of wonder and awe. My chest
bubbled up with joy, a smile crept across my face, and a satisfied sigh escaped
from within me. With a nod to the
beautiful day, I went along my way to deliver lunch to my sick cabin mate.
I have not
felt that kind of peace since. I would
like to say my faith has come as easy as the breeze that day, but faith is not
that simple. Even though two years later
I was Baptized, even though I taught Sunday school and sang in the church
choir, I question my faith every day. I
ask why it can’t be as simple as a summer day at Baptist camp, and I don’t
think I will ever understand why. So I
keep that day in my back pocket, and pull it out when I fear that God isn’t
listening, take a deep breath, and hope to catch the breeze.
No comments:
Post a Comment