The
past two weekends have been exhausting for me.
Not because of work or any particular sort of running around, but
because I had to be social. Being social
is rough, y’all…
Last
weekend, my sister got married. While I
am happy for her and the turn her life has taken, I was dreading the
wedding. I didn’t know a lot of the
people there, and am horrific at being social when it’s not part of my
job. I had to take a lot of deep
breaths in the car on the way up.
Thankfully, during the ceremony I was given the job of videographer, so
I could just hide behind the camera before it started. But the reception… I was so glad there was
going to be booze available, because oh.my.god, wedding receptions.
Luckily,
I sat with my cousin, uncle and aunt, and my cousin’s daughter. There were also old family friends at the
table, and eventually my mom joined us.
So, I wasn’t stuck with a table of total strangers, just people I
don’t interact with a lot. Thanks to my
old high school acting skillz, and a glass of wine on an empty stomach, I was
able to be bright, cheerful and chatty, but not embarrassing. (I quickly absorbed the wine I was drinking
with the trays of amazing hors d'oeuvres that kept on coming around). I entertained my cousin’s daughter and my
niece by letting them take my camera around and take tons of pictures, and
overall had a nice time. Phew! The next day, I was completely beat.
This
past weekend was slightly different.
This was self-inflicted social anxiety.
A friend of mine from high school was hosting a little shindig at his
house in which we had BBQ and mocked a crappy comic book. Being that this is one of the very few
friends from high school I still interact with on a regular basis, and a
possibility to meet some people that are not still in high school, I really
wanted to go. While I am not the biggest
comic book person I know, I appreciate the artform, and love mocking crappy
things, so yeah.
Right
up until I left the house to drive to his, I was still not sure if I was actually
going to go. There would be two other
guys I haven’t spoken to since high school, my friend’s wife who I’ve only met
once or twice briefly, and a gaggle of geeky guys I’ve never met. This of course meant I would be extra awkward
because geeky guys are the sexy.
But
I made my pasta salad, I dressed cute but casual, got in my car, and
drove. Hm. Took less time than I thought. Still not ready, I passed by the road my
friend lives on and decided to take a drive down by the lake. I turned around, and parked in the parking
lot of a local grocery store, debating if I wanted to run in and grab some
beer. Surely I can’t do this sober,
right? No, I will be good. Deep breath, deep breath, let’s go!
I
pull into the designated parking area across from his house at the same time as
a carload of strangers. They say hi, I
kind of mumble a “hi” back, and book it across the street. Where I pretty much stand around completely
awkwardly, not speaking, for a while.
Once we started to eat, though, I was able to open up a little, and
contribute to the conversation, especially when movies came up. Also, someone had brought a case of decent
beer to share (no Natty or PBR here – God, I LOVE GROWNUPS!), so a couple of
those and I was much, much better. But
mostly, these were “my” people – people who are interested in more intellectual
and artistic things, people who like the geekier side of life, and people who
are not in high school. Not even
in college! ADULTS! Also, very nice group of people.
I
was able to partake in the mocking of the comic, and had an overall
fantastically fun time. I think I made a
decent impression on the people I met, and hope to maybe see some of them
again?
The
past two weekends have solidified the fact that I need to get out there. I need to be social. It is possible to meet new people in the Upper
Valley
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